NerdHappens.com

After my trip to Athens this weekend, I thought it would be nice to write a quick post about how to successfully buck the system and enjoy some good old underage intoxication, sans the jailtime. These simple concepts were apparently too much for a young group of guys that I am acquainted with. In fact, they were violating some of these rules when I ran into them on a street corner at about 3am. As you might have guessed, they all got arrested. Take note, kiddies.

1. No excreting bodily waste in public - This first one is pretty simple. No spitting, urinating, vomiting, or defecating in public. Yes, I know you just saw a guy pissing behind that trash can in the alley. He's a pro, and has legit ID. You do not. Don't do that.
2. Transport yourself in an upright position - If you crawl through a crosswalk, get carried around by your friends, or pass out on a bench, you're going to draw the attention of the police (mostly for legitimate safety concerns). The paramedics will be called. You probably won't spend the night in jail, but you will wake up in a hospital with a citation next to you. This is bad.
3. No fighting - This should be obvious. The police in Athens exist to break up fights. I know you think you're superman and that dude just dissed you. Keep it to yourself. You're breaking the rules already. Just go look for some girls or something.
4. Do not heckle the police - This seems like a really good idea when you're drunk. Tell those pigs exactly what you think of them! NO. See all the other of-age drunk people around you? See them carrying on conversations and walking normally? Do the same. They won't know the difference unless you tell them they smell like bacon.
5. Take a cab home - This is a real gem. Don't drive home. Don't ride with drunk people. These will get you busted every time. Walking home is ok, but only if you know a good route and have enough discipline not to piss in the bushes on north campus (hint, most freshman don't). Just take a cab. It's about 5 bucks, it's quick, warm, and no cops with harass you on the way. You might also make some friends.